My own little world

I spent part of the morning researching a new (used) car that I can't really afford anyway. Dreaming, really. The car itself is utterly unrealistic. While safe, it is stupid fast, stupid gas, and stupid stupid. Yet dreaming is often what I do.

And then I get an email from a dear friend who is going through so many challenging decisions and life changing incidents that I realize that the time I wasted dreaming could have been far better spent picking up the phone just to check in.

We all get caught up in our lives and the daily choices we have to make and there is nothing wrong with that at all. But there are only a handful among us who go that extra mile to look out at the horizon and see what is beyond the scope of their 3 foot radiused personal area. They pay attention and stay involved.

I am lucky that many of my friends are those people. And I strive (dream, perhaps) to emulate them. Today is a slap in the face and a wake up call that I have a long way to go. I believe I'll get there but I need to keep my eyes open and looking out at that horizon.

B-HaHa, this is my apology to you. You may or may not read it but I want you to know you are in my thoughts and that if there is anything I can do...I'm there.

I ams

I am so excited
But I am scared
I am so happy
But I am nervous
I am so looking forward to a special day
But I am cautious to hope that tomorrow is the special one
I am so close to tears of joy
But I am trying to hold them back
I am so ready
But I am unprepared
I am so looking forward to being a Dad
But I want badly to hang onto my individuality
I am so ready to share my life
But I am selfish with my time
I am so madly in love
But I am looking forward to sharing this love with someone new

Getting ready for the kiddo

I had an intersting talk with Hope this morning. Her back was really bothering her and the third time the pain washed over her, she realized she was having a contraction in her back. Four in an hour (we are looking for five). We exchanged a few excited phone calls and text messages and then everything subsided.

But what a wave of excitement. I was trembling, there were tears brimming and I had a hard time putting words together without choking up. So excited, so happy and oh so scared.

We need to pack a bag tonight....

Another Full Day

Ah, stupidity.

I went to help with final selections on the Squirt A travel team on Sunday. The final 3 positions that were getting filled were not easy to pick. The skaters were all working very hard and looked very equal. But the final picks were made and my friend is off to what we hope will be a good start to a fun season.

I had forgotten about the fun and excitement at the youth level. I don't work enough youth games and it was fantastic to be involved, even just a little bit, with helping out. Squirts and 10 and under and they were awesome to watch out playing hockey and being creative on the ice.

Then (it was a busy day) it was off to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Our shower caddy has been rusting out in the upstairs bathroom and has been sliding on the shower head. This results in all razors, soaps, shampoos and what not being launched at your unprotected toes. Usually when your face is covered with soap and you are utterly defenseless. It makes for an interesting dance during the early morning shower.

So, I wanted to get us a new caddy that without an eject button. It was not a hard decision to make. I was in and out of the store in a matter of minutes.

At home, I played with Gibson for a moment and then went upstairs to assemble the new shower caddy. There were many zip ties holding the various parts together. I started working my way up from the bottom using the cutters on a set of needle nose pliers (I couldn't find my cutting dikes). First one went without a hitch. The second one popped as I was wedging the pliers into place. And of course, I drilled my eye with the sharp, pointy-thingy end of the pliers.

A bright flash of light and, as I looked down, I could see my contact where it had popped out and landed on the floor in front of my face (I was kneeling at the time). I stood up immediately and ran to grab my phone from downstairs to call Hopey and then ran back upstairs to check myself in a mirror for damage.

Some blood and a pretty good puncture wound below my eye. A cut on my eyelid over my eye but nothing beyond that. A quick (haha) trip to the ER, a few sutures later and a quick eye scan which revealed a scratch on my cornea and all is good.

So...what did I learn this weekend? Wear safety glasses and use the right tool.

Oh, and Gibson? Yeah, he was stuck at home by himself from about 10:30 in the morning until about 9:30 at night. How did he do? Magnificently. What an incredible dog!

A Full Day

Today I woke with Hope as she prepared to head off for her Master's Class. I headed out to a rink to help an old friend select his Squirt A travel team. A much harder task than I originally anticipated. There were two tryouts today and another two tomorrow. I don't envy his ultimate decision at all...so many different things play into it.

Tonight I lie awake trying to build a play list for our Ipod. The subject? A birth day... Any suggestions on songs for us to listen to while Hope labors?

Grubby at the Olympics - Part Tres

Went to Malone's after my Thursday night driving session. Got to watch Grubby in the final heat and he was crashed out by the South African racer. I drove home with my eyes brimming....

Even writing this right now, my eyes water. He has been so close to world championships and Olympic gold but has yet been able to make it through the final stretch. His misses have been mechanical or being crashed out, he has not had the opportunity to race it all the way to the tape.

And as he has said, "That's racing."

On another note, Jill did pull off a medal run in her final heat and took home the Bronze!

A morning rant

I broke my skates many weeks ago. This really isn't such a big issue, the housing (the carrier that attaches the blade to the boot) is cracking again. Yes, again. My$500+ skates went through two sets of carriers over the course of one year. But that really isn't the issue either.

I contacted a local pro shop at one of the rinks I work in on a regular basis about getting a newer style carrier that is supposed to be more durable but maintains the light weight and slightly longer steel that my skates use.

As an aside, the longer steel makes for a much more efficient glide. It doesn't turn as quickly but I no longer need it to as an official. I've been wearing my "player" skates at it is amazing the amount of extra energy it takes to sustain speed and stability simply because the shape of the blade has less contact with the ice.

Back to the rant. Four weeks ago I asked for new housings. It then took about two weeks to get a response from the pro shop manager just to verify that something had been ordered. Two more weeks go by before I get another call saying that the new housings are in. I dropped my skates off on Monday and was told that they would work on them the following day. I go in last night to ask for my skates and nothing had happened. The story is that Bauer sent the wrong housing. Umm...OK...I understand mistakes, I can live with that. But why was I never informed? How hard is it to make a call?

Why are my skates still at this shop? I have half a mind to pick them up and go somewhere else. Four weeks is borderline ridiculousness. But then again, I waited ten months to have my Land Rover fixed after a collision with an elk.

Serenity now...

Grubby at the Olympics - Part Deux

Apparently the BMX has been postponed (rain?). I'm doing my best to stay calm and be patient for the reschedule. Perhaps Friday?

Go Grubby!

edit: Additionally, for those of you who have never seen a bmx race, here is the Olympic coverage of the quarterfinals.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/share.html?videoid=0820_hd_cbb_en154

Grubby at the Olympics

I got to see Grubby (Jared Graves) on tv tonight. Late tonight. But it is good to see him advance through the quarter finals and I can't wait to find out how it goes tomorrow. Here is a guy who has spent many a night in this house...off at the Olmpics and killing it!

I should also mention that Jill Kitner, an ex-Yeti rider has advanced as well on the women's side. The times I have met her, she has always been very nice but not someone I have known on such a personal level as Grubby.

Best of luck to both tomorrow!

Volunteerism

Well, I have received my first assignment for the DNC. I am driving on Thursday night from 3-11.

I have avoided writing about this too much as of late because I did not know quite what was going to happen. I received a couple of requests to sit at desks at various hotels. I sit at a desk all day long so it didn't quite seem like my cup of tea.

The real reason I haven't blogged about it? Ok...

I went to the driver orientation session out at DIA a few weeks back. It was...interesting. We met the folks in charge, we sat through a great deal of speechifying, watched an inordinately lame video on how to operate the vehicles donated by GM and then did a driving test.

Let's start with the video. This was a budget film. Done by two staffers for the DNC motor pool. Not only were their jokes incredibly poor, the sound sucked (wind blowing past the microphone the entire time) and it was poorly edited. Could I have done better? Honestly, no. But they were explaining how to unlock the car, use the a/c and adjust the mirrors. Are we really that low brow that we can not figure this out on our own?

Then there was the "driving test" which answers the previous question.

I was paired with three other volunteers and our instructor.

The first took about 3 minutes just trying to figure out how to operate the mirrors and adjust everything to fit properly. The volunteer also spent a ridiculous amount of time checking out the features of this brand new car. Then, we were carefully backed out of the space and off for the first driving test. This went ok but the steering movements were jerky and I was incredibly uncomfortable in the backseat since the volunteer rolled the front window down (on a 110 degree day...I'm not kidding) and proceeded to drive down the highway at 65.

The second was not any better nor any more memorable. I drove third. And then there was the fourth....

The vehicle was floored away from our stop at the airport terminal. We were doing 45 mph over speedbumps in a 25 area. Then, hard on the brakes when trying to merge. And we were jerked all over the road as the operator veered from lane to lane whilst trying to drive in a straight line. I was holding on to the holy shit handle in back...white knuckled. I was happy to get out of the car back at the depot. But this final operator couldn't figure out how to open the door. Continuous pulls at the door handle but to no avail. A cursory glance at the door lock (locked) and then additional pulls which ended in the same result.

These people will be driving our elected officials around Denver. Elected. Congress and Legislature. From both the national and state level. VIPs for the convention.

We have our best and our brightest on the job. I go to work on Thursday....

NPR moment

Every now and then, I have one of those moments when I don't want to step out of the car because I fear I'm about to miss something really good.

I ran to King Sooper's this morning to pickup some Pillsbury Cinnamon rolls and OJ for breakfast. As I pulled into my parking space, CPR began playing a piece about a new musician from Scotland. Her name is Amy MacDonald and I sat in the car mesmerized as she played three of her songs.

I'll be getting a new CD soon...as soon as it is released here in the US.

Freedom

I had to run an errand for work this morning. As I was being shuttled to the Ford dealership to pick up our F-550, we stopped to pick up a breakfast burrito at a nice little breakfast shack (trailer really).

As I stood in the rain waiting for my burrito, I heard peals of laughter and children's voices coming from behind me. I turned to watch the kiddos riding their tiny bikes in circles in the church parking lot across the street. Laughing in the rain. I stood there grinning as it took me back.

Remember when we were growing up and your bike was a symbol of freedom for you? You could ride where ever you wanted to, it was faster than walking and you did not have to get a parent to drive you? I remember riding to the store, to school, to our friends down the road, to the stream and to the bog. Riding, even in just the driveway, was freedom.

And so I stood and watched these kids exercising their freedom in their world and I had a sudden epiphany. I still ride my bike, I still grin and laugh while pedaling, I still look to stretch the bounds of my personal freedom on two wheels.

I just ride in bigger circles.

In remembrance of Carson Spencer

I have lost a two friends over the years to suicide. I often think of both. One lives on as a player on my personal all-star hockey team. The other lives on as a phone number in my cell that I can't delete, it helps me think of a friend who I worked and hung out with many years ago.

I was blown away the other morning when I heard Carson's name on CPR as Hope and I were driving to the office. We were chatting and the radio was simply background noise; we were barely listening to it. Carson's sister was being interviewed by StoryCorps for the story on Carson and his death. Hearing his name out of the blue brought memories and tears to my eyes.

The link to the interview is here...the one on the upper right.

Carson played hockey with me on a team called the Flying Fortress. This was a great group of guys and I am happy to still count all of them as friends...several as close friends and brothers. Carson had a great smile and was a natural born storyteller. And he was fantastic at parties, both the ones he threw and the ones where we were both in attendance.

I remember a late night party at his house when were chipping balls from his backyard onto the green that was beyond his backyard. Ok...everyone else was chipping balls onto the green, I was shanking them left and right. I think one even hit the fence and came straight back at us. We laughed late into the night, watched/listened to a Steely Dan concert DVD and did our best not to wake their young child. It was a good night.

Carson, we all miss you.

You've Got a Friend

We were gifted tickets to the James Taylor concert at Red Rocks on Thursday night (thanks Cheryl!). Hope had to climb I don't know how many steps to our seats and I was very impressed and proud of how well she did. This is no small feat as the stairs are steep and they never seem to stop. This may also be the first concert we have attended together at Red Rocks. While we waited for the act to take the stage, we walked through the concerts we have attended together since she moved to Colorado and we could not come up with a single show we had come to Red Rocks for. She has been with friends and I had purchased tickets for us to see Nora Jones and then promptly headed to Florida to cut wood.

JT played many of the covers from his most recent album as well as his most famous tunes. Two huge sets and they were fantastic. But the song that really touched me was "You've Got a Friend." Before he started the song he spent some time talking about Carol King and how he was so excited to get to play the tune. But it was the song that got to me. I began thinking of all the wonderful friends I have. My best friend sitting next to me. The friends from childhood who still are there. My friends from school...junior, high and college. The newest friends I have found out here in Colorado and spread across the country and world. Friends who volunteer to babysit for our unborn child. And finally, my friends who are no longer with us. All so incredibly special and all friends who will last a lifetime.

Where would any of us be without these friends? They will all be our extended family, our supports, our comedians and our sounding-boards. The best I can say is thank you and I love you all.

Speaking of fires...

Our friend Molly was accepted into fire academy very recently. When I found out her dream was coming true a few weeks ago, I did my little happy dance in my garage where no one could see me (and where there is nary a camera to be seen).

She had her first day of orientation a week ago Saturday. She picked up all her turnout gear on the same day and we promptly invited her over for dinner that night. And we had to break out the camera! While she is the hottest fire cadet in her class, she assures us no one will be cutting her any slack. She proved it last Saturday when she made a sarcastic comment during class and earned herself and her fellow recruits a set of push ups.

Enough of that...onto the pictures!

The best laid plans...

A little Burns for you this evening.

We had so much planned out for today. I was to go riding in Nederland after work. Hope was headed to her pre-natal aerobics class after a day of relaxing.

I had a busy day at work. Couple this with watching a grass fire erupt from a lightening strike on Green Mountain this afternoon and I was left feeling too small to fix a flat tire and drive the sixty minutes to Ned.

But compound this with the fact that Hope was called in for jury duty today. Ignore the fact that she is 8.5 months pregnant and needing to pee every 45 minutes. What happens? She is the first choice for both the prosecution and defense teams on what is guaranteed to be at least a 3 day criminal trial. Needless to say, she had a long and emotionally trying day listening to the opening arguments and the victim's testimony.

By the time she got out, she drove the 3 minutes from the court to Yeti's office and took some time to unwind. We decided that Ned and the gym were not in the cards for us this evening. We headed off to fill up our tank's tank and talked about heading down to Denver for a nice Indian meal since we had not planned a dinner at home tonight. As I watched the dollars float by on the pump, I came to the conclusion that driving to Denver simply to eat out was not the best use of our fuel budget or gasoline in general (wow...I'm starting to go ever greener).

We headed to a local restaurant (yes Jeff...Malone's) and enjoyed a nice dinner together. We discussed our plans for the next three days and how Hope sitting in a juror's box would change all that we had laid out. Gone was the opportunity to ride my bike to work tomorrow. Gone was Hope's chance to seal the grout in our upstairs bathroom. Gone was Ned. Gone was the gym. But not all was negative. We had the chance to spend some quality time together on a night when we didn't plan on seeing each other until our heads hit our pillows.

We were home while it was still light out. I set up an area for Hope to work on her computer in our driveway and I collected my tools to finish painting the trim for the upstairs window. It was so warm that my coats were almost dry by the time I finished painting so I climbed my ladder and hung the trim around our upstairs bathroom window (yeah...cross another one off the honey-do list...five months later). Hope worked on a poetry paper and read some wonderful pieces that she had written over the years. Together, we reflected on her words, her images and the songs of her soul while we collected our tools and retired to our house.

I don't so much mind when my plans are ruined for a night spent together. I'd be happy if the rest of my life was spent breaking such plans just to spend a few more minutes together like tonight. Sometimes the best laid plans aren't necessarily the best ones after all.