Lesson Plan 5 - Patience

Emiko, I was going to use my blog last night as an opportunity to vent. I wrote an entire posting in my head on the way to hockey; all the things I wanted to say. It was going to be my release for all the frustrations I have had over the past few weeks.

When I got to the rink, I saw I was getting a chance to skate with an old friend. Once we got out on the ice, all my frustrations melted away and left me feeling rejuvenated after two games. I was in a better place in my mind.

I began to see the folly in my plan during my drive home. My blog is not an opportunity for me to semi-anonymously vent my frustrations to the world. That would be incredibly wrong. As our world has changed, the Internet has provided too many people the opportunity to post hurtful comments that do nothing to help benefit society. I will not lead you to believe that you will ever be allowed to do the same thing.

Emiko, you must understand that there is a time when you need to stand up and let you voice be heard. But you must never to that under the cover of anonymity. If you feel something needs to be said, do it and stand by your words proudly. Know that Mom and I will stand up with you and support you.

However, there will also be times that you will need to learn that you must bite your tongue. Generation to generation, we have been told that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say a thing. I will also include that if you don't have something beneficial to add to a dialogue, don't seek to interject yourself just for the sake of being heard.

There will be times that you will need to remove yourself from a situation and let it go. Venting your frustrations may not necessarily be the best way to rectify a situation. Approaching certain problems head on may sometimes work but you will need to learn that there are those times that a cooler head will prevail.

Mom and I will help you find ways to let go of those frustrations. It may be a sport you choose to play, it may be an instrument you choose to make music with or it may simply be a special place in the mountains you can retreat to until it has all settled out.

Emiko, Mom and I will do our very best to guide you as you learn to find your way in life. We'll listen when you need to let it all go. We'll be there for a hug when you need us to help you disappear from your troubles. But most of all, we'll stand by your side when you feel your voice needs to be heard.

I love you so much more every time I see you.

Dad

A quiet moment

I noticed a little Honda Element parked along the side of the road on my way to hockey tonight. I've seen cars parked at this location but never quite as askew as this. It looked like they had come in hot and the rear doors were wide open with a sheet spread across the interior. It was empty and no one was inside or in sight.

My heart immediately went out to them as the Element was parked in front of a tiny Emergency Vet clinic where the Vet lives in the adjoining house and is available at all hours of the day and night.

Whenever you see a car parked here late at night, I can only imagine the fear and the pain that must be held inside that tiny red building. But I am also so relieved that a Vet has decided to set up shop, live where he or she works and to be there during my fellow pet owners most trying times.

God bless.

One cool evening after hockey

I played hockey last night. I had a blast, scored a few goals and generally felt pretty darn good on the ice. When we finished, I headed toward home but Hope was already asleep and I was feeling pretty hungry. I settled on a pizza and swung by Old C's.

While I waited for my late night meal, I spent some time catching up by reading some old emails. While I was staring at my Blackberry, this email from Bob Lefsetz came in and as I read it, I was nearly moved to happy tears thinking about the time Hope and I saw U2 at the Pepsi Center.

U2 was always one of the bands on my bucket list. When I got to see them with my future wife, it was a dream come true.

So when I walked out of Old C's, I popped in my remastered copy of Joshua Tree, rolled down the windows and cranked the volume.

I was at peace.

I was in heaven.

I was alive.

I was so appreciative for my many blessings.

Lesson Plan 4- Education

Emiko, I received a message from a person I know in the cycling industry. He is working through school, working at a bike shop and all he wants to do is continue working in the cycling industry. He is wondering how important it is for him to finish college.

D, I would be remiss if I told you not to finish school.

Finish school. While I know plenty of people who work in the cycling industry without the benefit of college education and do fairly well, you will have a better shot getting a job at the company of your choice if you approach them with a college education in your background. Beyond having a simple piece of paper that states you are a graduate, college can also help further your ability to learn new systems quickly. It shows your employers-to-be that you have the motivation to finish what you start and that you are dedicated to continuing your personal education.

I know how difficult, both from a time standpoint as well as a fiscal one, college can be. It took me ten years to pay off my college loans. But I promise you that you will have more opportunity if you decide to finish off school. Finish school.

Finally, as much as you desire to work in the bike industry now, things may change in ten years. You may want to change your career. You may be forced to change your career for various reasons. You may decide to start a new company. Do not limit your future by walking away from an education right now.

Finish school.

I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Emiko, I can not begin to stress how important it will be for you to further your education. We are, right now, faced with a shift in the paradigm of our workplace. Jobs are continuing to be outsourced over seas. Workers are asked to do more on a daily basis with less. Jobs are eliminated and those responsibilities are being shifted to those who remain. Workers are being asked to be more productive with their time as they cover vacated positions that will not be filled.

And none of this is necessarily wrong. As an individual, we will need to be able to adapt to this new way of work life. We need to make sure that rather than stagnating in a position, we continue to push ourselves to learn more and increase our value at work rather than miring ourselves in what some see to be a hopeless position.

It will be a whole new world for you and for me by the time any of this begins to make sense.

I love you. More than anything else.

Dad

Time

It used to be I had all the time in the world. There was no rush and even if I had to be somewhere at a specific time, I usually did not have to worry about going anywhere else afterward. I was used to checking my cell phone for the time and just gauging the rest from there.

These days, it seems like not only do I often have a fairly set schedule, I also have to pay attention to how long I have been doing something as I usually need to run off to the next appointment. Relying on a cell phone that may or may not be in my pocket is no longer reliable.

All this leads up to me needing a watch. I had decided a while back that I wanted to find myself a nice watch...save up some scrill and splurge a bit on something that would be with me for a long time. However, I was having a tough time finding something that suited me. I was also struggling with finding a brand that was neither too hoighty toighty or too Mickey Mouse.

I bumped into a Seiko in my travels and that brought back memories. Memories of my Grandfather's gold Seiko. A watch that was going to stay in the family after he passed on. It was passed along but belongs to someone outside the family due to a little criminal issue in Montreal.

I started keeping my eyes open for the right Seiko and ultimately settled on a Kinetic Seiko that looked like it would fit the bill.

It keeps time. I don't have to wind it. It keeps me on track.

Most of all, every time I see it, I remember my Grandfather. That means more to me than keeping track of what time it actually is.

Every now and then, we have to look back to figure out where we are and see where we are going.

I'm going to miss this bike

I'm going to miss this bike.

I've cleaned her up, checked all the bolts, the wheels, lubed the chain and pulled my name stickers off the frame.

But then I got to my black tape.

As many of you may know or remember, when Anthony passed, I put his initials on a black piece of hockey tape around my seat tube. I've looked at it every day I rode since he passed away. I've looked at it on days when I was not able to ride. I have a similar piece of tape on the right housing of my skates. His memory is there every day.

I assumed after a year passed, I would remove the remembrance and on. But a year passed not too long ago and I was not able to remove the tape. Just as I have not removed his hand writing from my whiteboard at work.

My 575 is sold and the new owner is on his way to our house right now. Everything is done but I can see my bike silhouetted in the garage door from my seat in our kitchen. I can see that small strip of tape wrapped around the seat tube. Despite all the work I have done on the bike, despite all the rides I have been on with my 575 and despite the fact it has been over a year since Anthony left, I just can not seem to do it.

All this with Anthony's sprite-ish sense of humor hanging over my shoulder with a Seinfeld line, "You should just do it like a band-aid. One motion. Right off!"

I had decided that the tape would stay on my skates. But it would stay on that pair of skates. I go through a pair every season or so but I save my old skates in the garage so that pair, that memory, will be with me for the rest of time. Not so with this bike. Most of my bikes will stay with me but my mountain bikes move on to new homes every year or so.

I'll miss the memories. They will not go away but they will fade, just as the memory for this particular bike will fade. And I suppose that this is the process for moving on.

Tommy Cash - The In Crowd

Look this one up. A dear friend just sent this to me and it made me smile and cry at the same time. It's worth listening to.



It's five o'clock and one more working day is finally at an end
I hurry from my job and start my car light the traffic once again
And drivin' down the interstate my tension eases as the traffic fence
Now I lay my worries far behind and wonder what the in-crowd might be doin'

Farther down the road a pretty woman's waitin' with a drink for me
And there's a lotta woman there and pretty soon that's where I'm gonna be
I'm the only one that's missin' I'm the only one the in-crowd's waitin' for
As I drive around the back I leave my car and open up the door

And there stands the in-crowd and they're not a sin-crowd
There's a part of my life-crowd my kids-and-my-wife-crowd
She hands me my coffee and the kids gather round me
And it makes me so proud to be in with the in-crowd
Oh I love the in-crowd and they're not a sin-crowd
They're the light of my life-crowd my kids-and-my-wife-crowd
She hands me my coffee the kids gather round me
And it makes me so proud to be in with the in-crowd

Lesson Plan 3 - Fear

Emiko, there is very little I fear in this world.

I don't want to get hit by a puck. I don't want to fall off my bike. I don't want to crash my car.

Am I afraid of those things? No. They are things I don't want to do because I don't want to deal with the consequences.

But I can tell you that I fear death.

Not in the way that I don't know what will happen to me afterward. Heaven or hell. Or nothing at all. That is not at all what scares me.

I fear death because I don't want to leave you or your Mom behind. I fear death because I don't know what I'll do without my parents. I fear death because I can not fathom ever having to let go of my child.

Emi, I don't know that I have an ultimate lesson for you in this message. But I do know that by talking about what I fear most, it will help allay those nagging fears. I know that by admitting my fears, I can rely on friends and family to help me overcome them. I know that by opening a discussion, it will help close the door to all that I am afraid of.

Your fears change shape over time. I remember being scared of the dark. I remember never wanting to go all the way to the cold room in the basement. I remember being scared of the back room in the old barn.

As you grow, you will overcome your individual fears. Life will present you with new gifts, new obstacles and new directions; you will have to find ways to overcome each new challenge and any fears that may be associated with it.

I'm here to tell you that you don't have to go it alone. Emi, don't ever be afraid to put a voice to your fears. Don't let them gnaw at your soul. Address them, work through them, find a way to conquer them.

Your friends, your family...we'll all be by your side to help you through these challenges. Come to us when you need the help. Ask us your questions. Tell us what scares you the most. Once you do, you'll find a way through it all.

I've been listening to a song by John Mayer lately. It's helping me put words to my fears.

"Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Emi, every day I learn more. Every day I face new challenges. Every day I figure out how to push back my fears just a little more. And every day, I love you more than the last.

I love you.

Dad