Anniversary

I spent most of today thinking about 50 years ago.

I remember leafing through my mother's "year" books, each one the size of an encyclopedia, each one a tome of history for that year. I often turned to 1963 and read of the assassination. I looked through the black and white pictures of the tragedy. And I thought of how long ago that was. 

Today, I realized that '63 was only 14 years before my birth. Not that long ago. And I realized how the course of events over 14 years can change the world.

I often compose these posts in my mind as I travel home from the ice arena. And while I wanted to write about JFK, my mind shifted to other things.

Tonight, I worked with several close friends. They always ask about my family. They always ask about my mother. As I started the night, it was with a light heart and I was focused on the task ahead. Post game, as I looked through my email, things changed.

Mom is fighting again. Not that she ever stopped. Her body has fought, the drugs have fought and the science has found different ways to make things work. That has changed once again. Her cancer has moved into her shoulder, her neck and is active again in her liver.

With this comes a great deal of emotion. Fear. Love. 

I know she will once again pick up her gauntlet and fight. I know we will stand beside her, our friends will stand beside us and strangers we have never known will help her through.

As I walked out, a second friend asked how my family was and my answer had changed.

My drive home was lifted by music. My eyes were wet but my soul was strong. Songs of old, memories in black and white sifted through my mind and guided me to my door.

And now, here we go again.

"Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war..."

Mom, we will all cast aside those ensigns of peace. We too shall carry this gauntlet with you.

Cancer Sucks Game #18

On the ice at 7:20 this morning

Cancer Sucks Game #17

Working a fundraiser for cancer this weekend.

Cancer Sucks Game #15

Alaska vs Colorado

Cancer Sucks Game #14

Game #14 - Round 2 AHA Playoffs - Canisius vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #13

Game #13 - Round 2 AHA Playoffs - Canisius v Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #12

Game #12 Niagara vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #11

Game #11 Niagara vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #10

Game #10 Bulls vs Eagles

Cancer Sucks Game #9 / Emiko's Dreams

Game #9 Grizzlies vs Eagles

Sorry for the delayed post on this one. Took the picture, sent it to myself and then forgot to get it uploaded here. But I wanted to post something Emiko said/something Hope sent to Nonni.

From Hope's email:

"...this morning Emi told me about a dream she had last night:

"Nonni and I had wings. We were pushing off the floor so we could fly
around together like fairies. You (mom) and Dad and Ojisan kept
telling us not to, but Nonni and I wanted to fly together so we kept
trying and then we did! We had so much fun flying around the house!"

Now if THAT doesn't make you feel better I don't know what will. You
are sooo important to Emi & Winn- not sure if you know just how much
they love you. The love of children is so very pure and strong, and
you should know that you are a part of their lives every single day,
whether or not you are physically with us. So many times they bring
you up in conversation; they want to share things with you and show
you what they are doing. Even Winn, when asked "who flies on a jet
plane?" always answers "Nonni!!"

If you can't fly on a jet plane this weekend, no worries, we know
we'll see you when we can. Until then, just don those fairy wings and
visit us in our dreams.  We love you so much, there are no words to
express it.

Feel better soon!"

Cancer Sucks Game #8

Game #8 Canisius vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #7

Game #7 Komets vs Eagles

Jeremy and his wife, Sara, run the clock at the Eagles games. They have become a good friends over the years and I always look forward to seeing the two of them during Eagles games.

Not too many folks have really asked what I have been writing on my tape. Nor have I necessarily announced to those I am skating with what is going on. However, on Saturday night, Jeremy was sitting next to me when I was taping up. He knows my rituals. He knew something was off. He noticed what I had written and knows me well enough that I don't always write on my tape.  He asked what was going on and I explained.

Jeremy and I have our rituals as well. Typically, before a game, we fist bump through the glass. This night was different. When I arrived at the timekeeper's box, I was taken aback by the note he and Sara had put up inside the glass. "We love your Mom too and hope she gets better".

Entirely unexpected. Entirely appreciated. And entirely enough to throw me off before I got back into my pregame rituals during the anthem.

Thanks Jeremy and Sara. That made it a great game.

Cancer Sucks Game #6

Game #6 Komets vs Eagles

Cancer Sucks Game #5

Game #5 AIC vs Air Force 2/2/2013

Cancer Sucks Games #3 & #4

 Game #3 Robert Morris University v Air Force 1/25/2013

Game #4 Robert Morris University v Air Force 1/26/2013

Cancer Sucks Game #2

Game #2 was Army v Air Force, 1/12/2013

Cancer Sucks Game #1

Mom's cancer has returned. 

Life's challenges have the ability to weight heavily on your mind. It can sometimes become all encompassing. It sometimes fades to just the voice in the back of your head. But it is always there.

In hockey, you have to spend sixty minutes focused on nothing else. This holds true in any sport, it is sometimes the duration that changes. Nonetheless, when I work on the ice, I have to focus for sixty minutes. With nothing else in my mind but the game.

As refs, we talk about compartmentalizing. No matter what happened during the day, that week, that month. No matter the fight you had with your wife. No matter that work may not be going your way. When you step on the ice, you have to dedicate the next sixty minutes to the task at hand. Be there and not lose focus.

Generally, I don't have to spend a lot of time compartmentalizing. My wife and I don't fight. We rarely even disagree. Work rocks, I am living the dream. But when my Mom is sick, it gets tough.

This time, it is going after her liver. I know she is in good hands. I know she has good docs. I know that the medicine can work. But it is still scary. Like I am five years old and scared of being alone.

So, to find a way to get it off my mind for sixty minutes and to still carry it with me in a healthy way, I did this.

Game 1 was Army v Air Force, 1/11/2013

I love this game

It's not about your politics

(Credit: Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

It's not about your politics, it's about being part of a team. As a team, you either live together or die alone.

Tim Thomas decided to forgo a celebration at the White House for last year's Stanley Cup victory.  I initially felt that it is his prerogative to decline an invitation from the President. Thomas' team released several statements about how it was not a mandatory event, that it was his choice, that it was his politics.

And then I read Thomas' horseshit Facebook post which he didn't have the chutzpah to post before his teammates and his general manager had to begin fielding questions regarding his noticeable absence.

Thomas' message: "I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People. This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers vision for the Federal government. Because I believe this, today I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White House. This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an INDIVIDUAL. This is the only public statement I will be making on this topic. TT" 

Really? It isn't the Democrats and it isn't the Republicans? At least try being honest. It is about Obama. Admit it. Have the balls to admit it! Of course you have the right to decline the invitation to the White House. We all do. But this was your opportunity to voice your opinion about what is going on in your country with the man America elected President. You could have taken the time to talk to him quietly about your view of politics in Washington. You could have posted to Facebook that while you don't agree with politics in Washington, you took the opportunity to express any of your concerns with the President of the United States. But rather than standing up with your teammates, you stood up alone.

As my father so aptly put it, if Thomas can't see past the politics to celebrate as a team, how will he feel about teammates who have alternative political views? How will they feel about laying down to block a shot for him? How about trying to slow down a forward crashing the net?

Tim Thomas, you have disgraced the nation. You have disgraced the American jersey you wore in the Olympics. You have disappointed me. I shared in New England's excitement when the Bruins finally won the Stanley Cup last year. Now, I will never be able to root for a team you play for. 

Finally, your actions took the spotlight away from a team that deserved to celebrate their victory. You are the black sheep that sullied that party. You have to live with being "that guy." You really do stand alone.

Haiku

For whatever reason, the haiku form has been passed around lately....

11/28/2011 @ the morning meeting

Concentricity
Too big a word for Monday
Delivery sucks

11/16/2011 @ an evening skate

Goddamn private eyes
Why would they be watching me?
Fucking Hall and Oates

11/17/2011 @ another evening skate

Hockey night haiku
Composed in twenty minutes
I love this game so

Yeti is haiku
Artistic five seven five
Beauty words and bikes