Perhaps I should preface this story by saying everything for baby and mom-to-be is ok. I don't want you reading this with baited breath wondering what the hell just happened.
We spent the last night in the hospital...a good 12 hours before we finally came home. Hope ended up coming down with the flu/food poisoning/some sort of ugly crap. She couldn't keep any fluids down and we ended up heading off to the hospital some time after midnight last night. They put her on an IV in the ER and then we were moved up to Labor and Delivery some time in the early morning around 3:30. Hope was having something that could have been contractions or could have been her stomach and back muscles saying that they had had enough after so much violent vomiting.
That said, we are finally home, Hope is feeling ok though tired and I am feeling pretty wiped out. The big thing I noticed all night long was that as I sat next to Hope concerned for her, for our unborn baby and scared of having a premature birth, there was a voice of reason in the back of my head. That voice kept telling me that while it was ok to be scared because of the situation, that we still needed to relish every moment. There are people in this world who would give up so much of their lives to be in our shoes, to be pregnant. And I think it was that thought that kept me sane and calm the entire time.
It seems so unfair that there are so many couples, so many people that would make such wonderful parents, folks who would love to have the opportunity to create life (and deserve it), people whose somberness is often unnoticed by the rest of us in the joys of of parenthood. They are happy for those who can but feel such a plethora of emotions for themselves. And then we look around at those who have created too many, those who can't stop, those who don't understand the meaning of birth control.
I can only say my point is that we should never feel sorry for ourselves. Despite what life throws at us, we have so much to be happy for, so much to look forward to, that we should never find ourselves despairing our situation.
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