It's the little things....

My lovely and oh-so-generous wife mentioned this to me in passing. I had a slight understanding of the enormity of what she was about to do but...it's these little things the she does in life that go so far for so many other people.

Follow the two links and you will understand.

http://sites.google.com/site/milkforsophia/home

http://sites.google.com/site/milkforsophia/our-progress

I pulled a Dad

Hung out a little late at work on Thursday talking about cars with a Yeti guest. It was a good talk; he and I are pretty much on the same page with what we like. However, he is running an Audi S4 and a Porsche Boxster whilst I run a Volvo XC and a Series Land Rover.

Close, right?

Anywho...a good conversation. And then I climbed into my car and casually drove home without thinking of much else. As I pulled into the garage, I noticed Hope's car was not in her spot and that she wasn't home yet.

And then I realized something else.

I was supposed to pick up Emiko at 5:45 at school. But it was 6:00 and I was at home.

I pulled a Dad.

New wheels

I finally broke down and picked up a new pair of skates. My last pair were blown out after about a season and a half. I was over due.

As I prepped the new skates to get broken in, I looked at the naked white housing that holds the skate blade to the boot. You see, when Anthony passed, I added a black strip of hockey tape that encircled the heel of the housing to my old skates. As a hockey player through and through, it seemed like the right thing to do. The same pieces of black tape encircle the seat tubes of my bikes.

Every time I put my skates on, I pause for a moment and reflect on memories of my friend. I often touch the piece of tape as my homage to my lost friend. And it isn't sad thoughts, it's just a chance to remember.

Remember him.

Remember friendship.

Remember that life goes on.

But with the new skates I began to wonder how long the mourning process really is. Anthony is still in my thoughts. We all miss him and are getting to the point where we can laugh, joke and smile when we conjure up his memory.

Quite simply, I'm not ready to stop mourning. A close, close friend...my spiritual guide...pointed out that mourning has to last for four seasons. Until you make it that year and see the circle of life, see the fact that life goes on, you can't let go of mourning for that spirit. And this makes sense to me. It is more than religion, it is simply a way to keep myself on track over the course of the next year. It keeps my eyes open to birth, growth, decline and death.

Most of all, it let's me miss my friend.

I saw him in Vegas at Interbike. Probably not more than a few minutes after a fleeting thought passed through my head that this was the first trade show he had missed and that I hadn't brought a part of him to Vegas with me.

Instead, one of our partners brought him. There was a video playing at the Fox Suspension booth. As I paused to watch it, I realized it was showing clips from a press camp that Anthony had attended earlier this year. I was seeing shots of a race truck he got to ride in and take pictures of. As soon as the realization passed, I saw a shot with the Yeti demo truck in the background as confirmation. And then, a shot of Anthony setting up a bike.

I sat stunned with my eyes welling up (they well up now as I write this). At the same time, I was so happy to have had a chance to see him again. I'm sure the folks who put together the video have no idea of the significance of those shots.

To me, they were a suitable memorial to our friend.

Late night thoughts....

A close friend and I recently had a conversation that culminated in these final thoughts that are well worth sharing.

When the days of your life are shorter in front of you than they are behind, do you really want to have wasted so much of your time arguing with your wife, spending time away from your children and avoiding those people who mean the most to you?

Shoes - Part Deux

Emi is developing an Imelda Marcos style fetish for shoes. She searches for her shoes as the first thing she wants to put on in the morning. She wears mismatched shoes because she can't decide if one pair is better than the other. The finds socks (ours) that she wants us to pull on over her shoes. And then she stumbles around because the socks catch her feet on the floor.

Last night, she picked up one of my shoes (after we pulled on one of my over sized socks onto her miniature foot) and held her foot in the air until I succumbed and placed my shoe on her foot. She then tried to stand up and walk.

Didn't work.

She then found one of Hope's cycling shoes in the living room. Picked it up and handed it to me. And then sat on the floor with one foot in the air until I put Mom's shoe on her foot.

She still couldn't walk.

Simply put, Emi is so damn cute!

Baby Squirrel

Two nights ago, Emi, Gibson and I headed into the backyard to play. As Emi and I sat on the edge of our concrete patio watching Gibs romp with his ball, I saw him nearly step on a small gray object on the ground under the tree. I pulled him away and saw a baby squirrel on the ground, so young that its eyes were still sealed shut.

Hope came out and we sat there wondering what to do. She commented that she heard a bunch of squirrel noise earlier in the evening but just assumed Gibson was chasing the squirrels again.

We moved Gibson inside, and let him out into the front yard later on to do his business. I did a little research on the computer about baby squirrel care and finally settled on simply warming the baby and waiting for Mama squirrel to come down out of the tree to pick up her lost young one.

We started off with a Nalgene bottle filled with hot water and a few old diapers for the baby to curl up in. I then tracked down our heating pad and ran an extension cord into our back yard. As the baby squirrel warmed, it began to move around and Hope said it cried out a few times. We left it for the evening, wrapped in its swaddling with the heater on medium.

The next morning, its movements had slowed considerably. But we left the heater beneath it and I uncovered it so Mama squirrel would be able to spot her young one from the tree.

As soon as I was home yesterday evening, Emi and I went to check on the baby squirrel and it was gone. My assumption is that Mama came down and picked up her lost youngster. Could a predator have come and taken away the baby squirrel? Sure. But that isn't the happy ending I need to hold in my mind.

Nature can be so seemingly cruel. But the simple reality is that this is life in the wild. We humans aren't really that far removed from it all, though we do try to mitigate the cold and heat with our structures. We try to stave off hunger through industrial agriculture. We slake our thirst with a wide assortment of beverages. But it simply is about life and death. Our human touch on nature.

Ted Kennedy

Go in peace.

We thank you for your service, your tireless dedication to your state and your nation and for all your family has given for us.

You will be missed, revered and remembered.

Pax Vobiscum

If I didn't know, I would never have known

Our daughter loves being outdoors. And today turned out to be a perfect day to get her out for her first real hike. We had originally planned to meet up with a group and do a hike up Guanella Pass but after we arrived in Georgetown, we found out the pass was closed due to a rock slide. We all decided to head back toward the city and do a hike just outside of Evergreen. Just a short walk in the woods, really.

A couple miles up and a couple down. The final stretch of the hike is above tree line and it looks very exposed. Luckily, our weather held out and was gorgeous with only a few drops of rain as we approached the cars. The last bit of the climb is a scramble up a large pile of rocks to the summit. The view was tremendous.

Emi did a fantastic job. She rode in a pack on Hope's back while I carried all the supplies in my pack. Gibson did just as he should and we are still amazed at his trail manners. Well, I'm even more amazed now but more on that in a bit. On the hike down, Emi fell asleep and was zonked nearly from the summit to the cars. Not a bit of fussing! She enjoyed her outdoor meal, her conveyance and didn't even seem to be bothered by the flying ants that descended upon us at the summit.

The group we hiked with was fantastic. There was a wide range of skill and age on our hike and everyone made it to the summit without any problems. One man we hiked with has more trail credibility than many in this world. He has summited Everest along with the other seven summits. He's an accomplished climber as well, at home on vertical faces of rock. He rides mountain bikes. He wrestled in high school.

Wait. Wrestling in high school?

Well, it needs to be mentioned that he is the only blind person who has ever summited Everest. And less than 100 people have ever completed the Seven Summits challenge...one of an elite handful that have stood on top of the tallest mountain on each of the seven continents. He's planning a mountain bike trip where he isn't the stoker on his tandem mountain bike.

Blind.

Months ago, Hope's school held a silent auction (they do this every year). She bid us into a hike with Erik Weihenmayer. Erik's daughter goes to Hope's school. I was excited to join in a hike with such an accomplished climber. Of course, I promptly forgot about our plans and was surprised when Hope reminded me to keep this very Sunday open for our hike with Erik.

Erik walks quite like the rest of us. When he is outdoors, he moves more naturally over varied terrain than many of us. On some of his training hikes, he would have his daughter on his back in a Kelty pack...he is that smooth! We passed many hikers on the trail, some going up and some going down. Unless they recognized Erik, I don't think any of them realized that he couldn't see where he was stepping. While on the trail, his wife walked in front of him with a bell attached to her hiking stick. He followed right behind with two hiking poles. The only verbal communication I heard was when there was a low tree that he needed to duck under. Other than that, he found his own way. Even on the scramble to the summit, he, quite simply, followed her up the boulder field to the top.

So while I was in awe of our hiking companion, I was also so impressed with our little girl. Emiko is so comfortable when she is out of the house; it makes us both realize that we need to motivate ourselves to keep her outside and exploring this great state that is our backyard. Now that Emi has hiked with the best of them, she'll need to settle for walking with her Mom and Dad for a little while.

As for Gibson? Well, his trail manners are generally pretty good. But he has the ability to get underfoot sometimes. He stops to smell things and blocks the entire trail. Or he will lay down i n the shade and block the entire trail. Or he just stands there and looks at us wondering why we are forcing him to climb on such a hot day and blocks the trail. He won't move until we walk through him. While he blocks the trail.

This made me a bit apprehensive as we started the climb. Once again, our dog just seemed to know. I spent a good portion of the hike down walking with Erik, his wife and Gibson. We talked about politics, Colorado, education, college, mountain biking and many other things. Gibson meandered down the trail at our side. Sometimes by me. Sometimes by Erik. Never once did he get underfoot. And he never blocked the trail.

An apple a day

I had the pleasure of meeting up with Hope and Emiko at school today for a little lunch. Actually, I've been meeting them for lunch quite a bit as of late. It's been quite nice to see the girls and spend an extra hour with them every day!

I had an apple to finish my meal today and Emi was quite intrigued. She crawled over to me and watched as I took bites while I sat on the floor with her. I held the apple out for her and at first, she simply kissed it. But you could see she was intrigued with the flavor on her lips. She leaned in again and spent some time sucking on the apple. And then she began to gnaw on it. She loved the flavor and was ultimately able to work a piece of apple loose and chewed on that for a while.

Every day, something new. I feel blessed to have been there to watch her discover a new food!

Words that don't get used nearly enough

Asshat

Need I say more?

Make-A-Wish - A Little Yeti Love

This came to me this morning and it brought tears of happiness!

Hey Seth!

We just gave A--- his bike!!

I still have Goosebumps.

Imagine a lanky young man- 15/16 years old. This past year has been a living nightmare with treatments and relapse of Leukemia. Now fast-forward and you see this kid standing in the middle of a pizza joint, surrounded by his friends, eyes covered. This awesome of all awesomes bike gets rolled out to him. He uncovers his eyes… his knees wobble, as tears form he quickly wipes them away and says; “ this is… this is… SO AWESOME!!! This is better than I could have ever imagined. This is mine ?? Really? This is AWESOME!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!” His friends are now oooing and awwwing over this “AWESOME” sculpture of metal and rubber. They are all buckin with who should get to ride it and how fast can ya go? A--- was so excited. Then he saw the shirt and hat! Immediately the hat went on his head covering the fuzz that is sporadically starting to return to his head. Then one of his buddies showed him the book.

This sent him over the top!!! You guys are so wonderful- as A--- would say AWESOME!!! You really made a difference in A---’s life. Although he is suppose to hold off from riding for a bit- his mom okay’s him to take the bike home an do a quick tour around the property… just to test it out. Make sure it works and all!! A---, his parents, sister, and friends think you all are “da bomb” and so do we!

Thank you so much for making A--- ’s wish come true!!!

I really appreciate you!

What an incredible organization. Make-A-Wish originally contacted one of our shops and was directed to talk to us. Make-A-Wish paid for the bike but we did what we could to make it far more affordable for them. When we put this together with Make-A-Wish, I grabbed a hat and shirt and placed it in with the shipment. One of our guys put together the bike for A---, something we don't normally do here at the factory. And finally, I passed around a Yeti catalog and everyone here signed it for A---, including a couple of the World Cup riders who were here visiting at the time. Everyone here at Yeti was involved on this one and this message made everyone here super happy.

I wonder if, being a parent, this strikes home in a different way now. I don't just see A--- in my mind but also a set of parents and friends who have worked so hard to support him in such a trying time. I also see a group of guys and gals at a factory, who toil so hard to help make a company successful. To us, each Yeti frame loses some of that special charm since we see them every day. We overlook the fact that each of these bikes represents a dream to someone.

This time, each of us was involved in helping that dream come true for a child who has had to shoulder a burden no one ever deserves. We got to help, to see it through and be a part of making his special wish come true. There could not be a better day.

Shoes

As I had been scrambling around the house, trying to fix myself a little food and get on the way to hockey tonight, Hope called me up to Emi's nursery. I watched as Hope read a short picture book to our daughter, each page a word and a picture.

When Hope reached the page with "SHOES", Emi immediately tried to say shoes and turned and reached for her own shoes on the floor next to her.

Connections are being made. Not only in her developing mind but in our hearts as we watch her grow.

Words on a white board

We have all done it: written on a white board (well, maybe not ALL of us). What we write there is often simply a place holder, sometimes a joke, a lesson, and sometimes an idea for the future. But everything we record there is expected to be ultimately erased.

At work, I keep a 3-month calendar on a white board so the sales crew can see where the demo fleet is at any given time. When a month comes to an end, I clean the calendar, slide it across the board behind the others and put on the dates of a far off month. It's worked well for us this summer as the demo program has grown almost exponentially.

Several months ago, Anthony and I stood at the wall and made notes on upcoming festivals, trips and plans for where he would be going. We made plans for the Yeti Tribe Gathering in Winter Park. I have a vivid memory of seeing him there as he wrote in the dates for the Gathering...and then he proceeded to underline it.

He often would "pencil" in his trips as he began his plans. And his writing was vastly different from my scrawl, one could always tell where he had started and I had left off.

July was the final month he had written in plans for. At work today, I began to make the switch for that whiteboard calendar to shift another month. I stood there with eraser in hand but I could not bring myself to wipe out what he had last written for us. I'm lucky no one passed by at that moment as I found tears in my eyes as I was torn between the demands of work and the memories of a lost friend.

I put away the eraser today. Unused. I sat at my desk for a good while in wonderment. It seems so sudden that someone can be pulled out our lives and no longer exist in our physical realm. I struggle, even now as I refuse to let his memory fade, how to erase those simple words he had written. I just doesn't feel right wiping away another memory.

I know tomorrow I'll have to look at my whiteboard again. I know that I will have to pick up that eraser and wipe away Anthony's words. And I know it will not be his memory I'm wiping away, only words written in dry ink with the expectation that they would ultimately be erased as we continue to make new plans for our ever changing future.

How 'bout we go camping

Our first foray into camping with Emi was necessitated by Yeti's Tribe Gathering. We sourced a new tent to accommodate Emi's Pack-n-Play along with along with all the gear that goes hand in hand when travelling with a small child. An 8-person North Face palace!

With no dry run and accompanied by friends from Denver and the Pacific Northwest, we headed off to Winter Park to give it a shot. I had this bad feeling we'd be renting a room somewhere in town when Emi decided she had had enough.

Emi, however, decided she loved the experience. She loved playing in the dirt, walking in the stream and exploring the corners of her new tent. She made a game out of climbing on and off our inflatable mattress, watched Gibson as he wandered in the outdoors and had a fantastic time. Not to mention that she essentially slept through each night.

She had such a good time that we packed into our car the following weekend and headed off for an overnight trip to Buffalo Creek. This kid loves being outside!

Death

It seems to wait for us all, doesn't it? Yet, most of us go about our lives with nary a thought to the magnitude of what it means. Sure, we set up accounts for our loved ones, we make plans for the inevitable and we sometimes are forced to think about the enormity of it all. But for only fleeting moments. We return to our daily lives and forget about those concerns.

We have to. If we spent every day waiting for impending doom, we'd not accomplish a thing. Work would be ignored. Chores would go about the wayside. Our family life would be in shambles. Clearly, this is the human way to live a life.

Every now and then, I visit Anthony's Facebook page. I look at a face both familiar and unfamiliar. It's hard to believe that he has somehow left us, it seems as if it were only yesterday that we shared a laugh or engaged in some sort of mischief. It still brings tears to my eyes when I have to remember that there is no tomorrow to visit with him. Only yesterdays.

But that brings about other concerns, largely for my family.

Who would be there for Emi should something happen. Or for Hope? I have certain expectations about where they would go should the worst happen. Yet, at the same time, it is utterly inconceivable. Utterly.

Such are ramblings on a Monday night. A full work day, very little time with my girls and two hockey games later, I'm left to my own devices in my living room, surrounded by an explosion of Emi's toys, camping gear and our clothing. Such things happen when you spend your weekends playing and shirking the duty of chores. And late night memories of a friend now gone.

I miss you, Anthony Sloan. It's been too long since we last chatted.

"O Death
O Death
Won't you spare me over 'til another year"
-Ralph Stanley