Perception and Reality

I have done my best to make sure that I don't blog solely about hockey. Trouble is, hockey is so pervasive, it is hard not to say something every now and then.

I ended up gassing a player tonight for calling me a bitch. But let's start with the back story.

As a player, there are times you are positive something has happened to you, that a penalty should have been called, when nothing has actually happened. I remember when I blew out my knee, I was convinced someone had hit me from behind and taken out my knee on purpose. When the pain had subsided enough, I asked my two teammates and one of the refs who had gotten me. They all said that I had collided with one player but no one hit me from behind. A conclusive truth. My perception as a player versus the reality of the game....

Tonight, a player was on a break toward the net. One of the defensive players tried a poke check, missed and his stick glanced off the offensive players shin pad. Not a slash. The offensive player took the shot, missed the net and then tripped over the sprawling goalies leg pad. The offensive player collapsed and slid into the corner. Not a trip. The player, lying on the ice, began yelling at me for the call. He f-bombed me as he was lying on the ice. I warned him to stop. He f-bombed me again. Now we have a 2 minute minor for unsportsmanlike conduct.

This is where training and common sense takes over. After you assess a penalty, you take the long road to the score keepers box to report it. You skate away from the players, allow for some distance between you and the bench to avoid any further altercations. You also do your best not to point directly at a player so the penalty assessment isn't too personal. Even when you want to pull a Nelson Muntz, point at the guilty party, and chortle "Haaaa haaaa."

So I skate away. The player follows, continuing to yell, trying to get my attention, and finally yells, "Look at me, bitch"! OK, that becomes his ten minute misconduct. Now his teammates and my partner on the ice are trying to quiet him down. He is still yelling, enters the penalty box and before he closes the door, sticks his head out and f-bombs me again. That is his game misconduct.

Now, I know I don't get everything all the time. I know sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I miss a call but I honestly do my best every game. No matter the level, I often pull out the rule book after working to verify that my knowledge and application of the rules is in line with the way the rules are laid out. I don't mean this to be self aggrandizing but it should be known that I do care, no matter what the level.

Perception is inlaid into every part of this game. The players, the coaches, the refs, we all often have a different perception of what has happened throughout a game or in a specific play. In a game situation, it is up to the officials on the ice to have the final say, their perception of the play becomes the reality.

I digress.

After the player is finally removed from the ice, the captain of his team skates over to me. He asks what happened in the corner that resulted in the penalty. I explain that the player began f-bombing me when he was looking for a call. The captain shook his head and stated that the entire bench saw what had happened, their teammate had tripped over the goalie's outstretched leg!

Perception and reality. In so many situations, it is important to remember that whatever perception of any situation in life, reality may be a little different. We have a child on the way who is going to challenge every perception we have of our current life together. And I look forward to the new reality our child will bring to every new day. Let's see if I remember this the first time our sixteen year old dents the Land Rover! Perception and reality.