There are far too many stories to tell about this incredible human being. Anthony Sloan's incredible wanderlust, joie de vivre, quest for epic rides, ability to take the perfect shot through the camera lens and the ability to touch the hearts of every one he came in contact with will be missed. Anthony was truly the man who, whilst he wandered, was never at all lost.
Anthony's photos and journals touched the hearts of many whom had never met him. Many friends and family members of mine had followed his travels from afar and were awestruck with his passion, the spell of beauty he could cast and his whole hearted love for all around him.
Anthony was both the subject of many a prank and also assisted as the merry prankster as well. When we were building his Road Project many years ago, we took several photos of his bike coming together as he appreciated the art of assembly and welding. One set of pictures showed up with his new frame having wooden twigs for seatstays instead of the alloy we traditionally use. He was also an accomplice of mine in a prank I pulled on wife during her pregnancy. Hope and I had been discussing a new car and while she was off in Maine visiting family, I took several pictures of myself and of Gibson riding in Anthony's Miata. Hope was convinced her bungling husband had gone and made a huge mistake and Anthony helped me perpetuate that myth (well, part myth) by agreeing to let me take the little car to the airport to pick her up. I finally had to fess up before her return as I feared she may stay in Maine for the rest of her pregnancy and have a little Maine baby instead of a Colorado native.
Anthony's sense of humor brought him to XKCD and I was lucky that he shared the comic strip with me.
Anthony was lucky enough to have a job that helped preserve his wandering spirit. His demo schedule allowed him to range throughout the western half of the US. His photos from the road of the vistas, of the rides and of Grendel allowed us to participate in his travels even if only from the front of computer screen here in Colorado. His "A Picture a Day, 2008" was an exercise in photojournalism that inspired me to visit his site every morning during 2008 hoping for a new picture. And when he fell behind in posting photos, he would get a daily call from me prodding for new photos until his site was updated.
Anthony and I often enjoyed a breakfast burrito from the Bonfire trailer in Golden, though not often enough. We would frequently exchange phone calls or text messages to see who was going to pick up our morning meal though, with few exceptions, invariably it would be Anthony who was running early and had the time to swing by the little yellow trailer.
And that's the thing. Anthony was always on time, he had never missed an appointment and he maintained a meticulous schedule. Thursday was the first time I had ever known him to be late for a demo or for anything at all. It was so unlike him that all of us here in the office feared that he had gone off on a morning ride, hurt himself and was slowly working his way out of the wilderness.
My adopted older brother, my mentor and one of my closest friends is full-blooded Sioux and very spiritual. Butch gave me these words of comfort: There is a reason I was the one chosen to find Anthony on Thursday. That reason may not reveal itself immediately, it may take some time. I am allowed to get angry, to be upset with this decision but I will ultimately be shown why it was me.
I went down to Anthony's house in Golden to check and see if he was around. The demo rig and trailer were parked on his street and I could hear Grendel inside. Anthony never went anywhere without Grendel and I was surprised that the dog would be home by himself. I called Anthony's roommate, followed his directions to the spare key and stepped inside. The following space of time felt like an eternity but every step in my memory is vivid and calm.
The most important thing is that Anthony had friends with him from there on out. Dave, his roommate arrived, Joe was there and Hoog and Chris showed up too. In the end, we may have been there more for support of each other but I think Anthony would have been comforted knowing that it was his friends and not strangers that were there looking after him in those final moments.
Despite my beliefs, I took comfort in knowing Anthony was off riding endless single track somewhere. And to Butch's words as I reflect on everything over the past few days, I may have started down the path to understanding. My mother's reaction to Butch's comments was that I would find the right words to say to his family during their time of grief. And that has always been my struggle. I have never addressed or dealt with death well. As friends have passed away, I have often written letters to their family which were never sent. I never felt that my words were right.
But after the most difficult conversation I have ever had, a call to Anthony's mother to share in her grief, I have realized that it isn't the words that matter. It is simply the presence of being there.
To my friend's whose letters were never sent, I apologize for not being there for you and I want you to know that despite my lack of words or my presence, I WAS mourning from a distance. I simply lacked the fortitude to make my presence known.
To Anthony's family, I am still unsure as to why I was chosen but I promise to learn from this. I'm here to share in your grief and here to help in any way that I can. And you need to know that we are not the only ones. Anthony touched the hearts of many and you can see some of the breadth of his influence here, a website where he was a regular poster and visitor.
And, finally, to my dear friend Anthony. When JRR Tolkien wrote "Not all those who wander are lost," he was writing about you.
May you find the perfect single track that ends only where the sun sets. May you find the perfect light for your perfect photos. May you journey to all ends of our planet and this universe. And may you find a pen and a blank sheet of paper to record your travels and share them with us when we join you. Godspeed and Noli Umquam Oblivisci. We all miss you so much.
Anthony's photos and journals touched the hearts of many whom had never met him. Many friends and family members of mine had followed his travels from afar and were awestruck with his passion, the spell of beauty he could cast and his whole hearted love for all around him.
Anthony was both the subject of many a prank and also assisted as the merry prankster as well. When we were building his Road Project many years ago, we took several photos of his bike coming together as he appreciated the art of assembly and welding. One set of pictures showed up with his new frame having wooden twigs for seatstays instead of the alloy we traditionally use. He was also an accomplice of mine in a prank I pulled on wife during her pregnancy. Hope and I had been discussing a new car and while she was off in Maine visiting family, I took several pictures of myself and of Gibson riding in Anthony's Miata. Hope was convinced her bungling husband had gone and made a huge mistake and Anthony helped me perpetuate that myth (well, part myth) by agreeing to let me take the little car to the airport to pick her up. I finally had to fess up before her return as I feared she may stay in Maine for the rest of her pregnancy and have a little Maine baby instead of a Colorado native.
Anthony's sense of humor brought him to XKCD and I was lucky that he shared the comic strip with me.
Anthony was lucky enough to have a job that helped preserve his wandering spirit. His demo schedule allowed him to range throughout the western half of the US. His photos from the road of the vistas, of the rides and of Grendel allowed us to participate in his travels even if only from the front of computer screen here in Colorado. His "A Picture a Day, 2008" was an exercise in photojournalism that inspired me to visit his site every morning during 2008 hoping for a new picture. And when he fell behind in posting photos, he would get a daily call from me prodding for new photos until his site was updated.
Anthony and I often enjoyed a breakfast burrito from the Bonfire trailer in Golden, though not often enough. We would frequently exchange phone calls or text messages to see who was going to pick up our morning meal though, with few exceptions, invariably it would be Anthony who was running early and had the time to swing by the little yellow trailer.
And that's the thing. Anthony was always on time, he had never missed an appointment and he maintained a meticulous schedule. Thursday was the first time I had ever known him to be late for a demo or for anything at all. It was so unlike him that all of us here in the office feared that he had gone off on a morning ride, hurt himself and was slowly working his way out of the wilderness.
My adopted older brother, my mentor and one of my closest friends is full-blooded Sioux and very spiritual. Butch gave me these words of comfort: There is a reason I was the one chosen to find Anthony on Thursday. That reason may not reveal itself immediately, it may take some time. I am allowed to get angry, to be upset with this decision but I will ultimately be shown why it was me.
I went down to Anthony's house in Golden to check and see if he was around. The demo rig and trailer were parked on his street and I could hear Grendel inside. Anthony never went anywhere without Grendel and I was surprised that the dog would be home by himself. I called Anthony's roommate, followed his directions to the spare key and stepped inside. The following space of time felt like an eternity but every step in my memory is vivid and calm.
The most important thing is that Anthony had friends with him from there on out. Dave, his roommate arrived, Joe was there and Hoog and Chris showed up too. In the end, we may have been there more for support of each other but I think Anthony would have been comforted knowing that it was his friends and not strangers that were there looking after him in those final moments.
Despite my beliefs, I took comfort in knowing Anthony was off riding endless single track somewhere. And to Butch's words as I reflect on everything over the past few days, I may have started down the path to understanding. My mother's reaction to Butch's comments was that I would find the right words to say to his family during their time of grief. And that has always been my struggle. I have never addressed or dealt with death well. As friends have passed away, I have often written letters to their family which were never sent. I never felt that my words were right.
But after the most difficult conversation I have ever had, a call to Anthony's mother to share in her grief, I have realized that it isn't the words that matter. It is simply the presence of being there.
To my friend's whose letters were never sent, I apologize for not being there for you and I want you to know that despite my lack of words or my presence, I WAS mourning from a distance. I simply lacked the fortitude to make my presence known.
To Anthony's family, I am still unsure as to why I was chosen but I promise to learn from this. I'm here to share in your grief and here to help in any way that I can. And you need to know that we are not the only ones. Anthony touched the hearts of many and you can see some of the breadth of his influence here, a website where he was a regular poster and visitor.
And, finally, to my dear friend Anthony. When JRR Tolkien wrote "Not all those who wander are lost," he was writing about you.
May you find the perfect single track that ends only where the sun sets. May you find the perfect light for your perfect photos. May you journey to all ends of our planet and this universe. And may you find a pen and a blank sheet of paper to record your travels and share them with us when we join you. Godspeed and Noli Umquam Oblivisci. We all miss you so much.
5 comments:
Thank you for that post. I knew Anthony from various bike rides we had been on together. All I could muster were a few anecdotes, though they were quite "Anthony". Still processing this loss...
JD aka The Freak
I was one of Anthony's college rommates back in late 80s when he was a very skinny, awkward and yet independent, outdoorsy kid carving out an identity. We had been out of touch for many many years; paths diverge, re-cross, and split again. It is fantastic that, from everything I have seen in the last few days, he matured into the man he wanted to be and had so many supportive people around him. For someone so comfortable travelling only with his dog and well thumbed Edward Abbey book, I'm glad he also gathered so many fellow travellers.
Thanks Seth. I can't seem to write anything yet...
I miss him so much.
I have to ask. Did Anthony have any clue he had a heart condition?
I remember his last blog was after I saw him at McDowell mtn park in Arizona. He wrote something like 'one last trip to arizona'. One 'last'? trip. He was a word smyth. He understood the difference between 'last' and 'latest'. It was also only February. Couldn't have meant 'last' trip of the year.
He seemed so energetic. It came as a total surprise to me when I heard the news. Wish I would have known it was the Last trip.
Thanks to all for your comments, they mean the world to me.
FraSiec, to answer you question, I believe the answer is no. Folks go an entire lifetime without being aware of the condition harbored in their chest. It is what it is....
As far as Anthony's post about a last trip. I've been over that in my mind many times. Anthony had a phenomenal ability with words. We can parse his words now knowing what we know but I believe he was simply referring to his latest trip to Arizona as in "the last time I went to Arizona, I...." He chose his words carefully in order to make the rest of us think more than a little.
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