Cancer Sucks Game #12

Game #12 Niagara vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #11

Game #11 Niagara vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #10

Game #10 Bulls vs Eagles

Cancer Sucks Game #9 / Emiko's Dreams

Game #9 Grizzlies vs Eagles

Sorry for the delayed post on this one. Took the picture, sent it to myself and then forgot to get it uploaded here. But I wanted to post something Emiko said/something Hope sent to Nonni.

From Hope's email:

"...this morning Emi told me about a dream she had last night:

"Nonni and I had wings. We were pushing off the floor so we could fly
around together like fairies. You (mom) and Dad and Ojisan kept
telling us not to, but Nonni and I wanted to fly together so we kept
trying and then we did! We had so much fun flying around the house!"

Now if THAT doesn't make you feel better I don't know what will. You
are sooo important to Emi & Winn- not sure if you know just how much
they love you. The love of children is so very pure and strong, and
you should know that you are a part of their lives every single day,
whether or not you are physically with us. So many times they bring
you up in conversation; they want to share things with you and show
you what they are doing. Even Winn, when asked "who flies on a jet
plane?" always answers "Nonni!!"

If you can't fly on a jet plane this weekend, no worries, we know
we'll see you when we can. Until then, just don those fairy wings and
visit us in our dreams.  We love you so much, there are no words to
express it.

Feel better soon!"

Cancer Sucks Game #8

Game #8 Canisius vs Air Force

Cancer Sucks Game #7

Game #7 Komets vs Eagles

Jeremy and his wife, Sara, run the clock at the Eagles games. They have become a good friends over the years and I always look forward to seeing the two of them during Eagles games.

Not too many folks have really asked what I have been writing on my tape. Nor have I necessarily announced to those I am skating with what is going on. However, on Saturday night, Jeremy was sitting next to me when I was taping up. He knows my rituals. He knew something was off. He noticed what I had written and knows me well enough that I don't always write on my tape.  He asked what was going on and I explained.

Jeremy and I have our rituals as well. Typically, before a game, we fist bump through the glass. This night was different. When I arrived at the timekeeper's box, I was taken aback by the note he and Sara had put up inside the glass. "We love your Mom too and hope she gets better".

Entirely unexpected. Entirely appreciated. And entirely enough to throw me off before I got back into my pregame rituals during the anthem.

Thanks Jeremy and Sara. That made it a great game.

Cancer Sucks Game #6

Game #6 Komets vs Eagles

Cancer Sucks Game #5

Game #5 AIC vs Air Force 2/2/2013

Secret Garden

I've been searching, off and on, for years for this particular video. The original video without all the Jerry Maguire mumbo jumbo interspersed. I have a vague memory of discovering this song years ago when I was living alone in Arvada.

Anyway, Hope, for you:

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Cancer Sucks Games #3 & #4

 Game #3 Robert Morris University v Air Force 1/25/2013

Game #4 Robert Morris University v Air Force 1/26/2013

Cancer Sucks Game #2

Game #2 was Army v Air Force, 1/12/2013

Cancer Sucks Game #1

Mom's cancer has returned. 

Life's challenges have the ability to weight heavily on your mind. It can sometimes become all encompassing. It sometimes fades to just the voice in the back of your head. But it is always there.

In hockey, you have to spend sixty minutes focused on nothing else. This holds true in any sport, it is sometimes the duration that changes. Nonetheless, when I work on the ice, I have to focus for sixty minutes. With nothing else in my mind but the game.

As refs, we talk about compartmentalizing. No matter what happened during the day, that week, that month. No matter the fight you had with your wife. No matter that work may not be going your way. When you step on the ice, you have to dedicate the next sixty minutes to the task at hand. Be there and not lose focus.

Generally, I don't have to spend a lot of time compartmentalizing. My wife and I don't fight. We rarely even disagree. Work rocks, I am living the dream. But when my Mom is sick, it gets tough.

This time, it is going after her liver. I know she is in good hands. I know she has good docs. I know that the medicine can work. But it is still scary. Like I am five years old and scared of being alone.

So, to find a way to get it off my mind for sixty minutes and to still carry it with me in a healthy way, I did this.

Game 1 was Army v Air Force, 1/11/2013

Pride

I remember, as a child, hoisting the flag. At school. At my Aunt Mary Jo's house with my uncle Richie.

As I grew up, that childhood patriotism waned. I grew less wide eyed toward our government, toward the process, and more and more disappointed by the lack of education of the voters. The ambivalence. The closed mindedness.

Tonight, my adopted state went blue again. My home state went blue again. And my home state voted not only to overturn a previous law banning same sex marriages but also is looking like they will vote to allow same sex couples to marry.

As we drove home from dinner with my brother-in-law, I realized that I was suddenly feeling a patriotism that I had not felt since I was a child. Maybe I had never felt it at all. But listening to the election coverage was inspiring. And this has been added to the outside of our house.

Hamster Huey

I always thought this was funny "ha ha".

Now...well, now I understand. And I'm no longer sure it's funny "haha". I may just be funny "funny".

Timshel

I'm lying awake in a silent house far too late at night. My wife has passed out long ago, after putting each of the children to bed. Where was I? I selfishly disappeared to play hockey, my one night a week when I get a chance to pick up a stick and play instead of work.

There is such love in this house. I'm amazed at how this family has grown, the love that is shared and the time that is spent. I'm grateful for my parents and Hope's parents for sharing time with us here in Colorado. It makes them feel like they live far closer than the 2100 miles that separate us.

Emiko, Winslow, Gibson and I shared some time in the backyard tonight. Emiko proceeded to tackle me when I announced that I had to leave for hockey. Winslow then piled on and we all lay in the grass laughing. Gibson cuddled up close to where we were rolling about.

Their laughter and delight proceeded to keep me long after I had planned on climbing in the car. How do you choose to walk away from such moments? I can't. I revel in them. I memorize them. I choose to delay that departure to play for a moment longer. And I set them to a soundtrack....

I'm so very, very lucky.