Overdue thank you

We were given an album a while ago by one of our dearest friends. And we appreciated the music for many reasons. The is a Middlebury connection, an artist we have enjoyed in the past and it is fantastic acoustic music.

I was out driving the other day and this one song came up on the iPod. And it suddenly struck me. Not that it wasn't pointed out before by our friend but for some reason the song suddenly rang true.

I finally heard the lyrics. I finally heard the notes. It finally came together and made sense.

So thanks Fibby. I needed this!


If I could wash your fears away
And walk you down to the waters edge
Read your fortune in the stars above
If it would set your mind at ease.

And I would take your hand in mine
We would sing a new song
Walk you home by the light of the April moon
If it would set your mind at ease.

Lay your worries and your trouble by the front door, Son
C'mon in 'cause it's supper time
May your heartache bother you no more, Son
Little child of mine.

If I could chase those clouds away
And turn that raining into sunshine
If I could speak the healing of your heart
You know I would set your mind at ease.

Lay your worries and your trouble by the front door, Son
C'mon in 'cause it's supper time
May your heartache bother you no more, Son
Little child of mine.

Darling won't you play with me
Hem these rays of sunlight
Darling won't you stay with me
'Til I know that it's alright

Alright, yeah
Alright, yeah

Sweet child don't cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Sweet child don't cry
And I will sing a lullaby

-Winslow's Lullaby, The Sweet Remains

Firsts

I've been meaning to write this down for weeks now. Then again, it seems as if there have been so many "firsts" as of late that I'm having a hard time keeping track of all of them in my head.

Emiko and I were out playing in the Land Rover a few weeks back, just as she always loves to. She understands how the key works to unlock the door. She understands that the key goes in the ignition. This one time, she asked me to start the truck and I obliged from the passenger seat. I watched Emi pretend to drive and flip switches from the passenger seat. After several minutes of idling, I killed the engine and handed her the keys (she loves holding keys). I turned my attention to some old tapes in the backseat and then heard the starter kick and the engine catch. I turned back to see Emi smiling up at me saying, "I did it."

Yes, you did. No more keys for you....

A good friend loaned us a pair of hockey skates for Emi. I brought them home after reffing one night and set them in the bedroom before climbing into bed and drifting off to sleep. The next morning, I called Emi into our room when she awoke me. I told her I had a "gift." She came in with her eyes sparkling and I showed her the skates. She promptly sat down in my lap and told me to put them on her feet. The moment we had the skates laced up, she stood up and began to walk off. I scrambled to catch her and hold her hand but she was already walking all over the place. I spent the rest of my morning before work trying to convince her to let me take them off.

I love this little girl.

For S and J

There are some days when I must seek solace in words from the past.

Yesterday, I found out my friends lost their unborn child to suffocation by the umbilical cord. I cannot begin to express the grief I felt when I read their message and today still struggle to find a way to come to terms with such tragic news.

As a parent, we must bear the burden of fears for the children we bring to this world. We must also bear the burden for the hopes and dreams our children bring to light. And in the end, we must find a way to come to terms with the concerns that are saddled on our shoulders when we make the choice to become Moms and Dads.

Yesterday, I searched for the right words for a card for S, J and Mali. Yesterday, I turned to the words of a friend who has passed but still reaches out to offer guidance, comfort and wisdom. Yesterday, I shed a tear for loved ones lost.


"Here it is starting to be spring a little, green shoots are coming up in the lawn, struggling up through their dead ancestors. This could be taken as a metaphor, we too should struggle up through the death of the previous year, but we should not leave it entirely behind. To leave it behind would be a disservice to them and us. They need for us to preserve the memories, and we need, desperately need, the things that those memories give us.

Sadness, Joy, Hope, Contemplation.

Life is not a Garden of Eden, life is kind of like the desert, there are many things that hurt, bite and sting. (In that story, you wonder how it would have ended if he had told them not to eat the snake) But one has to find beauty in all of them. I'm sure this sounds hackneyed, but it applies.

When are we going to the desert?"

-Anthony Sloan Feb 19, 1997

A minute

Growing up, Dad always cycled through my brother's bedrooms, giving us each a minute where he would like down with us as we fell asleep. Each one of us would lie stock still in hopes that Dad would fall asleep and that our "minnie" would stretch longer than 60 seconds. It was our final moments of the day that we always shared with Dad which would lead us to sleep and dreams.

Last night, Emiko had her first true "minnie" with Dad. As we prepped for bed, she set up a little nest on the floor with her stuffed animals (Joshua the Giraffe, bear and pup-pup) and we lay down to cuddle for a moment. While she lay there talking, I gradually dozed off until I realized I was snoring and slowly worked my way back to lucidity. She was still sitting by my side talking to herself and a quick glance at my watch quickly told me that about 15 minutes had past.

Her first "minnie."

I love this kiddo!